I want to share a comment that one of my readers left me and share my reply. K J and the kids (who has and awesome blog HERE) asks:
“PLEASE tell me how you wrapped your mind around all of this ? I SOOOOO want to be in the same place as you mentally. How did you hit rock bottom and more importantly where in the hell do you get your inspiration ? 33 lbs in 2 years I’ve gained. I’m miserable. and yet I still eat like shit. HELP !”
So where do I start……….
I have always been a petite girl. I was always small and for the most part thin. In my early 20’s I was a size 4. As I got older I gained weight much easier than before, yes normal I know, but I still didn’t think much of it and never did anything about it. I worked doing nursing and was on the go all the time and didn’t eat regularly and was always eating on the run when I did. About 11 years ago I started a desk job and that is when I started to battle weight. It was gradual but I was gaining since I was no longer on the move.
After gaining some weight I started doing all kinds of the fad diets – no carbs or low-fat or adding fat burners or adding stackers or green tea or chromium – whatever I heard would help – I tried. About 7 years ago was the heaviest I ever was at around 170. I am only 5’1″ so that did not look good on me! I then decided to take phentermine to drop the weight and it worked like a charm. Dropped weight like crazy and was down to a size 6. I stayed here for about a year and a half and then I met D. I was happy and skinny and life was great.
I never changed the way I lived my life and I never changed the foods I ate. As the years past I gained all the weight back. By January 2009 I was back at 160 pounds. I then got pregnant with baby J. I knew I was already overweight and tried my hardest to make sure I didn’t gain too much more while pregnant. I gained a total of 32 pounds with her. This pic was at about 7 months pregnant. So add a bit more to that.
After she was born I pumped breast milk. While pumping and taking care of her I was able to get back down to 160 within two months. I continued to pump until she was 8 months old and I was still at 160 pounds. I decided it was time to drop the weight again. I started phentermine again and got down to 130. I was good there and stopped taking it. Over the past year I gained weight again and that brings me to January 2012 and my weight was 144.
I finally make a decision that I was tired of being fat. I was tired of having an entire closet full of clothes that I couldn’t wear because my fat rolls hung out and I couldn’t squeeze my fat ass into those little jeans anymore. I didn’t feel sexy for my wife anymore and I didn’t feel sexy for myself anymore. My wardrobe consisted of long shorts and t-shirts and I was tired of looking like a rag mop. I was also tired of seeing how fat I was in pictures. I was wearing my old maternity shirts so I looked skinnier. Sad, Right! I knew I needed to take control over my life and weight. I also noticed baby J ate nothing but the crap food I ate and wouldn’t sit and eat a normal meal, EVER! I was my daughters role model and I was doing a really shitty job! It was time to change.
I wasn’t going to diet – I was going to change my lifestyle!
When I finally wrap my head around doing something, I try to learn as much as I can about it. So I started to read. I read online about how to lose weight. I found an app on my phone called myfitnesspal. It is a calorie counter app. What I liked most of all is it has a bar code scanner so I don’t have to manually enter the data of the foods I eat I can just scan the bar code on the package and I am done. I really believe this made all the difference to me. It made it easy to keep track of what I ate. You can also use it online and add foods that way and it will communitcate back to your phone and vise versa. myfitnesspal.com
I looked into weight watchers and it was just to complicated to try to track my points or I was just to lazy to do it that way, one of the two. So I read more and found that I was making things so much more complicated than they need to be – just count calories!
I found it easiest to watch the calories I eat. This means I can eat whatever I want as along as I have enough calories in the day to eat them. I didn’t have the “you can’t eat that” hanging over my head. I had no restrictions except for the amount of calories I took in. I put myself on 1200 calories a day. This is not a lot of calories but I eat back the calories I burn when I work out. So here is the concept. I have 1200 to start with, I run and burn 500 calories, I now have 1700 calories to eat that day. If I don’t get my ass out there an workout then I dont get to eat more than 1200 calories. 1700 is a lot more calories and I very rarely eat that many calories but I can if I want to and in the beginning I did. I ate every calorie I had to use. So if I want chocolate – I eat it and I put it in my diary and I deduct it from my calories. If I want a cookie, cake, pie or whatever – I eat it and I put it in my diary and deduct it from my calories. If I run out of calories then I am done eating for the day or I need to workout to get more calories to eat. Really it is that simple of a concept. The hard part is sticking to it.
I quickly found that I was more aware of the foods I ate. Suddenly that cookie that has 150 calories was no longer worth it to me. Why am I going to waste 150 calories on one cookie when I can have a use those calories for something else? So without even being aware of what I was doing I was controlling what I was eating and making healthier choices. Junk food has more calories – healthy foods have fewer calories. This means I can eat more if I eat healthier. WOW what a concept, right? LOL
I also needed to make time for myself and to workout. I started off slow and worked up to more intense workouts. I didn’t want to burn myself out and fail at this. How was I going to add in an hour of time for myself and for my workout? Well I started by walking with baby J in the stroller. I did this at her nap time and that gave me extra time to walk since she was asleep. I could get in 4 miles while she napped. Or I would walk on the treadmill while she watched her cartoons. I had to MAKE it a priority to take the time for myself. This is not easy. This was my biggest hurdle. I felt selfish and felt like I should be spending time with my family. Then I realized if I am not healthy then I do my family no good at all. I also needed to make myself get off the computer long enough to get my workout in. I have a sign hanging that says “If there is time to blog, there is time to workout”. This is what I follow. I can blog AFTER I workout. I hung inspirational pictures up to make me want to workout and keep me focused on being heathy and getting back in shape.
I started to follow Jillian Michaels. I think she is a genius – not to mention gorgeous! I mean seriously – who would not want to look like her.
Beautiful, tone, fit, sexy – absolutely gorgeous!
I wished I could look like her but never thought I could because I am so short and stocky. Then I found out that she is the same size I am. *LIGHTBULB* If she can look like that then I can do. This is one of my favorite pics of her and this is my motivation picture. I want to look like this in my work clothes – not gut roll hanging out.
I also got rid of all the junk food in my house and replaced it with healthy foods. D was not a fan of this move but she was supportive of my efforts. Baby J was just confused because she had no more crap food to eat I measure EVERYTHING I eat and I mean everything! I cook at home and if I go out I go online and check the calories of the foods I am going to eat before I go. This helps keep me in my calorie range for the day and not binge when we eat out. I also watch the sodium I eat and I cut out beer for now. I have told everyone that I am not drinking and eating healthy. I also tell them I am not on a diet – I am changing my lifestyle. I do not consider myself to be dieting. I consider myself as changing the way I live and changing the way my family lives and eats. Since I have been eating healthier and eating more meals so is baby J. She is eating much better and she is eating healthier as well. I know I am a better role model for my daughter and that makes me feel like I doing what is best for her.
To stay motivated I flood myself with motivational pictures and quotes. I have tons of pics in my office. I have tons of pics on my laptop. I hold myself accountable on this blog. I made friends with others that are changing their lives the way I am changing mine. I have a community of friends on myfitnesspal.com that keep me motivated. I keep track of my workouts on endomondo.com and have a community of friends and motivation there as well. I read Jillian Micheals book “Winning by losing” and I listen to her podcasts while I workout. I am starting to feel sexy again and my wife has taken notice of my weight loss and that makes me feel wonderful. All of this keeps me going.
If I can do this, you can do it to. 🙂
And this is my motto that I keep repeating every time I workout and feel like stopping because I am tired or sore or just being lazy.
Then I picture Jillian screaming it at me as I run. LOL