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Baby #2

11 Jul

We have been trying to conceive our second child for a while now and in the process I have had two miscarriages.  While the first one hit me badly the second one hit me hard.  I thought I was more okay with things than I guess I really was.  After I lost the second one I told myself that things happen for a reason and that we would keep trying.  I put myself in a happy mindset and focused on my running and working out.  I really thought I was okay with everything.  We then tried another month and did not get pregnant.  Then we went on vacation and we were unable to try.  Then the holidays and some other stuff got in the way and we didn’t try again.  Then D and I signed up for our first half marathon.  I want to run this marathon and I know I will not run it if I am pregnant.  I know I could but I don’t want to.  I wouldn’t chance losing the baby. Having two miscarriages doesn’t help that feeling.  Running this half marathon will but a lot of strain on my body and I just don’t want to do that.

D and I started talking about baby #2 again.  Once we did I found out that I have more reservations about the whole thing than I originally thought.  I thought I was okay with everything but I knew my heart just wasn’t into making another baby right now.  Not that I would be unhappy if I was pregnant but I guess the second miscarriage just hit me harder than I really thought it did.  I then look at baby J and still see my little baby girl.  She is still so very needy and she is still just so little to me.  I then can’t imagine having a new baby and trying to still spend time with baby J and handle a new baby.  Then I think of all the training I have done and all the weight loss and really just don’t want to back track right now.  Getting pregnant would be a huge setback and I would have to start back at square one once the baby is born.  I also look at the fact that right now I can pick up and go with baby J and its easy.  She is getting to a really good age and traveling with her is a breeze now.

I know these all seem like really little petty things and I know everything would work out if I did get pregnant but right now just doesn’t seem like the right time to do this for us.  I don’t want baby J to be an only child but if it happens to be that way then I would be okay with that as well.  She is my perfect little princess and I am so blessed to just have her.  If we end up having another I am sure it will be wonderful too.

For now, D and I have decided to put baby #2 on hold.  We are going to continue to train for the half marathon and live life and enjoy the time we have as a family of 3.  We will revisit the idea of baby #2 after the half marathon in November.

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6 Comments

Posted by on July 11, 2012 in children

 

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6 responses to “Baby #2

  1. loseitbig

    July 12, 2012 at 7:57 am

    Don’t take anything I say the wrong way. It’s just my 1 cent worth of nothing. When kids are involved in a family, priorities should shift to them. It’s not about “me” anymore. It’s a big commitment to them. You are being selfish in the way you and your body will have to change. The good thing is you understand this and I think you are making the right decision to hold off. I have 3 kids and my whole day is scheduled around them. I run before they get up. I work out during my lunch break at work. I do all of my house work after they go to sleep. Except for cutting grass. They like sitting on my lap and steering. Now that being said…I wouldn’t change anything about my family. I really hope you are not offended with anything I am saying…not trying to offend or anything.

     
    • Two Moms

      July 12, 2012 at 8:16 am

      I’m not offended. I know kids are the number 1 priority. My whole day revolves around baby J. I dont workout or run or anything else unless she has everything she needs and/or is napping (when that happens). Her needs come first above all. I also understand that I may be being selfish in the fact that I dont want my body to balloon up at this point. Right now I just have different goals I would like to reach in my life. After I am done with these goals I will be more willing to accept the fact that I can be less selfish with my body. I also think that knowing this makes be a better mother. I wouldnt change the fact that my daughter is my number one – she always will be. Baby #2 is not a NEVER – just on hold for a few months. 🙂

       
  2. KJ and the Kids

    July 12, 2012 at 11:08 pm

    I’m a huge advocate for siblings. I’ve had so many friends who were only children and would beg me to never do that to my child. I am also a huge advocate for knowing when to stop. I didn’t and so now I’m trying to get the word out. TWO IS GREAT 🙂 ha ha ha
    No really. I don’t want you to NOT have another child because it would interfere with your workouts, body image, marathons. But waiting is also great. Enjoy these first year(s) of her life. I think that you’ll come back around to it.

    Also. that you have had 2 miscarriages is actually a great sign that you are getting pregnant. I’m so sorry that you’ve had them. Were you far along ? Crossing my fingers for a happy healthy fast pregnancy when you are all ready to have one !

     
    • Two Moms

      July 13, 2012 at 6:38 am

      I do want antoher child but I need to be in a healthy mindset to be ready for that. I just want to make sure we are ready to do it again. I think by the end of the year we will be ready again. This is more of just a short hiatus. 🙂 I am pretty sure 2 will be enough for us. LOL

       
  3. cookiemonster03

    July 13, 2012 at 9:50 am

    I’m sorry for your losses. I think putting #2 on hold for a while is a good idea. It’ll give you some time to heal and pursue other things in your life.

    To be honest, I’m not sure we will have another (we have twins, but still). We talk about it a lot and I do want one, but going to 3 would be such a life changer….I’m not sure we want to make the sacrifice…

     
    • Two Moms

      July 13, 2012 at 10:23 am

      Thank you. I really do feel like I just need some time to heal and to fully get my heart back into it again. I want to make our second child with the love and desire we made our first one with. I dont want to have any reservations about it and I think once I finish this marathon I will be better with it all. That gives me a bit of time and distance to heal and to be better prepared without having to worry about losing another baby.
      I always said I wanted 3 but I really dont know if that will happen. I guess we will see what happens after 2. I told D it would be cool to have twins this next time around so I dont have to get preggo a thrid time. LOL

       

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