Home Insemination

09 Jan

When you start talking about lesbians making a baby this is the image most people get.


The good ole turkey baster method – The belief that lesbians us a turkey baster and boil it to sterilize it and then us it to insert sperm.  This was a great part in the movie “ If these walls could talk 2” with Ellen DeGeneres and Sharon Stone.   Loved it!  Though it looks like so much fun – really?? – This is not how we did home inseminations.

This is the method we used to conceive baby J as well as baby 2.0.

First off you need to start with sperm.  Unfortunately with as much as she would love to be able to, D cannot get me pregnant due to lack of sperm.  Just the way it is.  So how do you get sperm?  Well you can get sperm from a couple places – sperm banks or known donors.  Only a few sperm banks will deliver to your house so make sure you check around.  Most will only deliver to your doctors.  We did not want to do it at a clinic.  We wanted to be able to be at home and do it our way.  We wanted it to be as close to normal as we could make it.  We wanted to make love and make a baby.  I had no history of medical problems so we didn’t see any need to go to any RE.   So we ordered sperm and had it delivered to the house.

This is what it looked like.








The sperm vials are shipped frozen.  To thaw them you just have to hold them in your hand for a few minutes or stick them in your bra.  You just use body heat to thaw – no microwave needed.


We tried many ways to inseminate but the best way we found was to use an instead cup.


This is a cup designed for your period and you can find them in any drug store by the tampons.  The thought of this product being used for that is just gross to me but hey.  So this little cup is much like a diaphragm.  It is soft and flexible and goes in around your cervix.



It has a little pouch in it.  I heard other use the diva cups but the pouch is bigger and was harder to maneuver.


The instead cup was very easy for me to use.  You place the sperm in the cup. Picture shown using lotion not real sperm so don’t go all postal on me now.  Sperm can be either frozen or fresh it makes no difference.



Then carefully insert the cup and make sure it is around your cervix.  You can use a little pre-seed if you need lubrication.  Pre-seed is safe to use while TTC.  I practiced a few times inserting the cup without sperm in it before attempting to do it with the liquid gold we had purchased.  No need to waist any of that.

This process works out great because you can keep the cup in for hours and let all the sperm get soaked up and you don’t have to worry about it leaking out.  You don’t need to lay with your legs up you’re your head either.  No handstand required.  After lying down for about 15-20 minutes you can go about you day or night and not worry about it moving or leaking.  Such a nice feature to this method.

I would keep the cup in for a good 6 hours or so.  This was mostly done at night and then I would get up in the middle of the night and take it out.  FYI – This can be messy so do it over the toilet.

It is a very simple and easy method to do home inseminations.  I wouldn’t do it any other way now.

I decided to share this with everyone in hopes that it might help others conceive.  We are very open about our process of insemination.  I believe it is also important to help educate others that lesbians are not these crazy turkey baster mothers.  LOL

Please feel free to ask any questions that you might have.  I would be happy to help anyone else with their TTC journey if I can.


Posted by on January 9, 2013 in TTC


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35 responses to “Home Insemination

  1. loseitbig

    January 9, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    Congrats! I hope all goes well for you guys. I have so many things that normally I would say (all in fun) but, this post was very educational, informational and very eye opening so, I will just say hooray.

    • Two Moms

      January 9, 2013 at 4:02 pm

      Thank you. I know that must have been hard for you. LOL

  2. Jaxcarrie

    January 9, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    I love that you clarify that you used lotion for the demo!!! (And thanks for no insertion photos!!).

    • Two Moms

      January 9, 2013 at 4:03 pm

      You mean you wouldnt have wanted to see VAG pics. LMAO

  3. Terry

    January 9, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    Great information which dispels many myths. Proud of you! And excited for all of you!!!

  4. One Fit Mama

    January 9, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    Wow! I’m one of those girls (straight) that got preggers on like the 1st try twice. Makes you appreciate it’s not always that easy for everyone. I love that you found a way to keep it personal.

  5. KJ and the Kids

    January 10, 2013 at 1:12 am

    NEVER knew about those cups. I would have used one just to help keep the little swimmers in 🙂
    How many times did you try for each again ?
    I’m super impressed at how fertile you guys are. Nice job.

    • Two Moms

      January 10, 2013 at 9:18 am

      Yup they work great for keeping all the swimmers in. 🙂

      We tried 8 times to get baby J. With this one we got pregnant on the third try but MC’d. Then again on the second try and MC’d. This time was the first time back trying after the marathon. Total of 9 tries to get it to stick. Hopefully. FX.

  6. Emily

    January 10, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    that’s really awesome!! I wish I had the nerve to try it at home, but after the fertility disaster of our first TTC round, I just can’t stomach the risk of “wasting” expensive sperm (even though I am theoretically healthy).

  7. Anastasia

    September 19, 2013 at 8:13 pm

    I will be trying again with this method in two weeks. hopefullly everything goes right.

  8. Caroline

    February 15, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    After reading this, I went out and bought some instead cups! Hoping to try this method next!! Sounds a lot better than using a syringe like we did last month haahaa thank you for the inspiration ladies 😀 xx

  9. Tanika Jefferson

    March 23, 2014 at 1:00 pm

    My girlfriend and I will be doing a home insemination soon, and we are considering using the instead cup. We are curious as to how exactly the instead cup works, how is the semen getting to the cervix, if its sitting in the cup?

    • Two Moms

      March 25, 2014 at 7:43 am

      Congrats. Sperm swim and will swim up into the cervix. You can also help them along the way by having an orgasm to help “suck” them up. The instead cup just keeps the semen close to the cervix, preventing it from “draining” back down the vagina. The body is an amazing thing. 🙂

      • Tamika Jefferson

        March 25, 2014 at 8:48 am

        Thanks! Indeed the body is an amazing thing, and I’m still learning. Thanks so much for your help, with our amazing journey!

      • Tanika Jefferson

        July 8, 2014 at 7:58 pm

        After our second time trying, it was a success!!!! I am currently 2 months, and we are so excited!!

      • Two Moms

        July 14, 2014 at 11:01 am

        Congrats! That is awesome! Here’s to a happy healthy 9 months

      • Tanika Jefferson

        December 17, 2014 at 9:33 am

        Wanted to update you ladies on my pregnancy, currently 30 weeks 6 days with out baby boy. Both I and baby are healthy and haven’t had any problems.

      • Two Moms

        December 31, 2014 at 2:51 am

        Wonderful news! Congrats.

  10. attack womb

    April 24, 2014 at 10:21 pm

    Ok. All the stuff I find about this cup talk about how easy it is to use… But I’ve been practising, (using water, maybe not the best simulation?) and I am very concerned about how much spills out… I feel like I should have a friend to put pressure on my posterior vaginal wall while inserting to make it easier.

    Am I panicking for nothing? I am not shy about my body at all, but this feels like it needs more coordination than I have…

    • Two Moms

      April 24, 2014 at 11:23 pm

      First off – Relax! Take a few deep breathes. Water is thinner than semen so you are probably spilling more than you will with the actual sperm. If you want to get a more accurate feel for it try using some pre-seed in the cup and see how that works. You will only have about 3-4 cc of semen which really is not that much inside the cup.

      Pinch the sides of the cup while inserting. I did this in a seated position over the toilet. Obviously if you drop it you are screwed so be careful or do it sitting on the edge with the seat down. Insert it on a slight angle, but not far enough to spill it. Once you get it in, carefully use one finger and push it back into place over the cervix. One finger at the front rim of the cup and push back and up to get it around the back of the cervix. No matter how careful you are you will spill a little out. It is just the way it is. Try not to spill to much of it but also remember that there are thousands of little sperm in there and you only need one to get to the egg.

      I am very uncoordinated. LOL If I did this – You can do this. 🙂 Keep me posted.

      • attack womb

        April 24, 2014 at 11:33 pm

        Thank you!! Just practised again with the preseed and used a speculum for insertion – waaaay better. Phew, I feel reassured, seems like it all stayed in place and went where it was supposed to. 🙂 Not so nervous about the real thing now (T minus a day and a half!)

      • Two Moms

        April 24, 2014 at 11:40 pm

        Awesome! We would inseminate 2-3 days in a row. The day of ovulation and the 1-2 days prior to ovulation. I would know I ovulated when I had a temp shift.

        So exciting. Best of luck!

      • Marianne Ross

        October 22, 2015 at 8:39 pm

        Hi there!

        I know this is a very delayed reply but I came across your post and wanted to ask: I am using fresh donor but every time I push it in with one finger after initially putting cup in, when I remove my finger there is always some stuck on it like it spilled out of the cup while inserting. Did you ever have this issue? Did you have any tips for how not to spill? I just feel like when the cup gets squeezed when going in some flows out of the top and stuck on the entrance. I’m so nervous that I’m losing too much “product” – any tips?

        Ps thanks for this informative blog. It is so helpful!

      • Two Moms

        January 6, 2017 at 7:38 am

        It is normal to have some spill out. Try your best to keep as much in as possible. Try to get as much down in the cup part as possible and then squeeze the top ring when you insert and try to keep the cup(bag) part down as much as possible. There should be plenty in there to get the job done. Once it is around the cervix you are good. The more you do it the easier it becomes and the less you will loose to spill. LOL Hope this helps. Please let me know if you need any other info.

  11. attack womb

    April 29, 2014 at 9:58 am

    So, fourth and final insemination day today. Thanks so much for your speedy and reassuring reply, it all went swimmingly. (Haha, see what I did there ?)

    Now we wait!

    • Two Moms

      April 29, 2014 at 9:09 pm

      Glad it all went well. 🙂 Best of luck. If not then you will be a pro for next time. LOL

  12. Lauren.

    May 7, 2014 at 9:24 pm

    Love your blog. My bf and I tried natural way and didmt happen. Im at my very fertile time and 3 times this week we had sex and he came into a cup and I put it in soft cup with preseed up there. I hope I get a positive at end of this month. Im also on robitusin, prenatals and vitex. Congrats on baby!

    • Two Moms

      May 7, 2014 at 10:28 pm

      Best of luck! Sounds like you are doing everything right.

  13. Peg McHugh

    May 14, 2014 at 11:21 am

    Hey! Did this really work for you guys? I am desperate to try it. Also….did you do anything with a catheter? I heard people have used this to open the cervix. Thank you so much for the help and taking the time to write this. Hope to hear back from you!

    • Two Moms

      May 14, 2014 at 11:54 am

      Yes this DID work for us!! This is exactly what we did to conceive our daughter. We did not use a catheter. Please make sure you know what you are doing with that. I have read that you need to only use washed semen when you use a catheter and go directly into the cervix. Please check that before doing it.

      The other thing is to make sure you are timing things right. Use the OPK’s to keep track of the exact time of ovulation and be sure to chart your cycles. I am not a doctor by any means. It took us 10 months to conceive our daughter. If you are still having problems talk with your doctor. I did use clomid for a while as well. There are other options if you have a doctor who can help. 🙂

      Best of luck and please let me know if there is anything else I can help with.

      • ShanyD.

        May 15, 2014 at 1:02 am

        So this did work? You are currently pregnant? I’m really interested in this blog.
        My girlfriend and I are planning to start in-home semination in July, to give us time to find the right donor and get my ovulation on track. We were going to do the catheter way, but I’m reading that that is somewhat dangerous. Just wanted to know how well this worked and making sure I’m reading and understanding everything correctly.

      • Two Moms

        May 15, 2014 at 1:33 am

        Yes this DID work for us! No, I am not currently pregnant. Our daughter is 4 years old now. If you read our TTC #2 at the top you will see just how many times this worked for us. Every time we got pregnant was using this method. EVERY TIME!!! Including when we got pregnant with our 4 year old back in Jan 2009. EVERY TIME!!!

        The catheter method can be very dangerous if not done properly and with washed sperm. We did NOT do that so I cannot give you any advise on that at all.

  14. charlottewestbrook

    December 17, 2014 at 7:01 am

    This has given me hope! Did this today with known donor sperm and hope to continue with this method as it’s non stressful for all involved. Thanks for the info!

  15. Vanessa

    August 29, 2015 at 8:45 pm

    Do you push the plastic in towards the cervix?

    • Two Moms

      January 6, 2017 at 7:40 am

      Yes. Squeeze the top ring in the middle and insert. Then just use your finger to position it in place. Gently pushing the plastic ring toward the cerix and make sure you get it around the cervix and not hitting the side of the cervix. You might want to practice with nothing in the cup so you get a feel for how it is suppose to sit properly in there. Then you will not spill anything out. Hope that helps. 🙂


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