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Worst Monday Ever!

21 Jan

This is going to be short since I am really not in the mood to talk to much.

I had my doctors appointment today.  I am 7 weeks 6 days along – 1 day shy of 8 weeks.  Today started out great.  D and baby J and I headed out to the doctors to see our baby.  We got there, filled out papers, and waited our turn.  Finally we got called back.

The ultrasound tech started with an abdominal scan and said she couldn’t see enough, so we switched to trans vaginal.  I knew instantly that something was wrong.  There on the screen was the same picture we saw 2 weeks ago – there was the gestational sac and yolk sac and no heartbeat.  The tech didn’t say a word.  D didn’t say a word.  I finally said “that’s not good” and the tech agreed.  She said there should be a heartbeat and there wasn’t.  She couldn’t find anything but the yolk sac.  She said the baby stopped growing and that I would likely miscarry again.  She then said we needed to see the doctor again.

The doctor came in and told us how sorry she was.  She then said she could give me a pill to help start the miscarriage or I could wait it out.  I just could not in my heart take a pill to start it.  I told her I would like to wait it out.  She said that she wants to see me back in 2 weeks and if I have not miscarried by then we would have to start it or do a d&c.  Neither of which I want to do or am willing to accept right now.

I held it together long enough to get out to the car.  The drive home was very quiet.  Baby J fell asleep in the car and D and I were just speechless.  We just held each others hand and was comforted by the touch we shared while driving.  At this point I have no idea what to think.  I would like to believe the doctor is wrong and that my baby will just start growing and we will go back in and hear a heartbeat but I know that is not realistic.  I do not feel like I am going to miscarry as of today.  I am still sick and lightheaded on a daily basis.  I am not cramping or bleeding.  I know this can all change overnight but right now I don’t feel it.  I have shed many, many tears today and I am trying to stay somewhat optimistic but this is proving to be difficult to do.

I have read online that there are ladies who have misdiagnosed miscarriages.  They were told there is no heartbeat and they should miscarry and then a week later there it is.  The baby, the heartbeat, the miracle.  I know this is a long shot but I do believe in miracles.  At this point there is nothing I can do.  It is all in Gods hands.  It will be what it will be and I have to have faith in whatever outcome it is.  I want to pray for a miracle but right now I a praying for Gods will to be done and the strength to cope with whatever may come.

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15 Comments

Posted by on January 21, 2013 in baby

 

15 responses to “Worst Monday Ever!

  1. Jaxcarrie

    January 21, 2013 at 8:29 pm

    Huge huge huge hug you way lady…I have tears on my cheeks for you, D and J right now.

     
  2. jessie

    January 21, 2013 at 8:35 pm

    Oh shit. I am so so sorry

     
  3. Booking It with Runner Sami

    January 21, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I’ll be hoping for the best.

     
  4. Brittany

    January 21, 2013 at 9:36 pm

    I am so sorry ladies 😦

    ❤ B & C
    http://ourjourneytobecomemommies.blogspot.com/

     
  5. gaybyjourney

    January 22, 2013 at 3:59 am

    This is very sad news and I can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now. I am hoping for the best and thinking of you!

     
  6. 2aussiemammas

    January 22, 2013 at 5:13 am

    I so hope you get your miracle.

     
  7. One Fit Mama

    January 22, 2013 at 8:11 am

    so sorry… be good to each other, its such a terri le loss

     
  8. adventuresofhomelife

    January 22, 2013 at 9:09 am

    Sometimes holding onto our Faith is all we can do when our hearts are broken and our souls ache. I’ll be praying for you all. ((hugs))

     
  9. KJ and the Kids

    January 22, 2013 at 11:06 am

    Oh sweety, I’m so sorry. I too have been there. I am so impressed with your strength and will also pray for that miracle.
    Our 1/2 sibling is one. She was told she miscarried. She was bleeding like crazy too. They did an ultrasound and nothing.
    A month later she still hadn’t “miscarried” and when they went in to see…..there she was….Callie is now 8 years old.

     
  10. pepibebe

    January 22, 2013 at 9:58 pm

    I’m feeling for you. I hope it works out for the best. Kia kaha – have strength.

     
    • pepibebe

      January 22, 2013 at 9:58 pm

      And yes, I’ve been there twice too.

       
  11. deb

    January 22, 2013 at 11:26 pm

    Love you so much V! God always has a plan, even if we can’t understand it…

     
  12. Lindsay

    January 25, 2013 at 2:46 pm

    Oh Hun – I am so sorry this is happening to you, Life just isnt fair. Be gentle on each other.

     

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