A miracle is an event attributed to divine intervention – An event that cannot be explained by any other rational or medical reasoning.
I believe miracles happen every day. I believe God has a plan or all of us. I also believe that our plan for our own lives and God’s plan or our lives may not always be the same plan. You have to have faith in whatever the day holds and have faith that God knows what he is doing and is never wrong. We may not always feel like Gods plan is the right one for us and that we know what we need more than God does, but I believe we are wrong. We need to have faith in God’s will and pray for the strength to deal with whatever it is.
This morning was our ultrasound to confirm the findings from Monday. To confirm that our baby had stopped growing and there is no heartbeat. D and I sat in the waiting room and waited our turn. We were surrounded by 4 VERY pregnant women. Why couldn’t today be the day all the teenagers were in there getting paps done? Anyways the ultrasound lady, G, called us back. We walked into the room and did the normal routine for a tans vaginal ultrasound. I sat on the table holding D’s hand. I asked her if she was okay. She said yes and asked if I was. I said yes and said “I know nothing has probably changed but I just need to know for sure before we go any further.” She agreed. I gave her a kiss and G knocked to come back in.
She inserted the probe and took a look around. Then she stopped and we saw the gestational sac on the screen. Just like Monday we saw the sac and yolk sack. She then moved slightly and we saw something that was not there Monday. We saw a tiny baby and a flicker of a heartbeat! All of us were in shock. I am not sure who said the first word but G said “hold on”. She took a measurement and the baby is measuring 6 weeks 1 day at .443 cm. She then told me to hold very still. She was trying to get the heart rate. My heart was beating so hard I felt like everyone in the room could hear it. G then said the heart rate was 93.6 beats per minute.
Today I should be 8 weeks and 3 days along. The baby measuring 2 weeks behind is not a good sign. Then G asked “Is there any way your dates can be off?” I laughed and said “There are only 2 possible days this baby could have been conceived.” G laughed and said “oh yeah, duh” LOL Then she said she has no explanation for this except that it is a miracle. She said that there is absolutely no way we are having a D&C done Monday morning.
We sat in there and discussed our options and what the next move would be. She wanted us to come back in on Tuesday for another ultrasound. We then discussed our vacation plans. After more discussion about what is the best to get us in and plan for a D&C if need be next week and still fly on Weds, we came up with a plan.
We are going to back in Monday morning at 8:15 for another ultrasound. We cancelled the surgery for Monday morning. We re-scheduled the D&C for noon instead. Here is the logic behind all of this. If there is a heartbeat there is absolutely no way we can do a D&C. That would be an abortion at that point in time and we are not discussing that. So we need to confirm on Monday that the baby is in fact growing and the heart is still beating. G said she needs to see a growth of 2-3 cm and on Monday to prove this is a viable pregnancy. If we see all that then I will be thrilled. If we go in and there is no longer a heartbeat and no growth then we will go ahead with the D&C that afternoon. I want it done before we go on vacation if that is the case just like I felt before and I don’t want to miscarry in California. So that is the plan for now and I feel like we have absolutely no answers right now.
There are a million things running through my head and so many what if’s. Can this be a viable pregnancy if I am measuring 2 weeks behind when I know there is absolutely no way that this baby was conceived at a later date? If the baby continues to grow will it have developmental issues along the way or after birth? Will the baby grow for a while and then stop later on in the pregnancy? I have no answers to anything. All I know is today baby 2.0 is here and has a beating heart.
I am trying to stay optimistic but I am being very cautious. I have no idea what Monday will bring. I am grateful for the heartbeat and the growing baby but I am so very scared of the unknown right now. My faith will see me through.
There is no explanation for any of this. I know we witnessed a miracle today. There is no rational or medical explanation for this. This is God’s doing and I pray for the strength to keep holding on and to continue to have faith in his will and plan. Please keep us in your prayers and I thank all of you for all the love and support you have given us.
Trust in God with all your heart. Nothing is impossible with him.