As I posted before, D and I have agreed to not have any more children. I have no plans to ever be pregnant again. I will never carry another child inside of me or give birth again and I am perfectly okay with that. We made our decision and we are blessed to have the child we have. Baby J is our perfect, precious little miracle. We have no regrets about our decision.
Of course I wanted another child but I was fine with knowing I would never have one. I have never had the desire to adopt. If I can’t have my own child I don’t want another one. I wanted to have that bond with my child in my womb and have the time to connect with it as it grew. Now I am not saying adoption is not the solution for many families and I know many people are blessed by their adopted children. I get that. I understand that. There are many children that need homes and there are many families that cannot have their own children. I know that. I am not saying there is anything wrong with adoption. I just have never felt that is was right for us.
We are still recovering from our past loss and we are still coming to grips with our decisions and our future. We had a plan and we were moving forward. Funny how our plan doesn’t seem to be Gods plan. Doesn’t it always happen that way! We feel like we have been thrown a curve ball! I swear God has the best sense of humor ever!
Well long story short – Baby J is getting a brother! I can’t go into too many details as it is all still in the works but this little guy is the newest addition to our family. Everyone meet Little Man.
He has been in the system for about 2 ½ years and he is related to me. He moved in with us on Friday. He is 10 weeks older than baby J. Boy are we going to have our hands full. Of course there is history and a huge back story to this that I just can’t go into right now. Never the less, we now have two children.
Adoption was never something that we considered doing. It was not something that we had a desire to do even when we decided that we would never HAVE another child again. I know many people do this and it turns out just fine but it just didn’t seem like it was for us. But for some reason this is a situation that we just couldn’t shake. It was as if God kept pushing this on us and trying to tell us this is what we needed to do and we didn’t agree with his plan. We didn’t feel this was right for us. We didn’t feel this was how we would expand our family. We were content with our plan. But I guess that is not what we are supposed to be doing. Seriously I feel like God just wanted to smack us in the head with a two by four. This has been an ongoing battle for 2 years now. Even now we are scared to death at this whole situation. Can we do this? Will we be able to add another child to our house that I didn’t give birth to? Can we form that bond with him like we have with baby J? We have so many questions. How is this going to play out? I have no answers other than this is what we are doing and we will just have to wing it as we go and pray God knows what he is doing! LOL This little guy has fallen into our laps and we are going to see what happens next. I am sure this will be a big adjustment for all of us, especially a spoiled only child. We will all have a huge learning curve. Wish us luck!