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The Waiting Game

30 May

Yesterday in court the kids father signed surrenders.  The kids are officially state property now.  How very sad.  He said he is going to go visit them one last time and then move back up north.  I feel so bad for those kids.

What happens next?  Well the kids sit.  They will be assigned and adoption specialist and they will be put up for adoption as a sibling group.  All this means that the three families that want them will not be able to get them.  The kids will just sit in the group home and wait to see if anyone else wants all three of them.  It doesnt matter that our family wants them.  We are not good enough since we cant take all three of them.

How long will they sit?   Is there a time limit?  How long will they keep them in limbo hoping a perfect, white picket fence family will come along willing to adopt all three kids?  No one will tell me that.  All I am told is they will go up for adoption. So will it be a month, 6 months, a year, two years – who knows?  But hey, these kids have been sitting in the system for almost 3 years already so what is another year or two, right???  What a crock of shit!  

The waiting game has begun and there is no guarantee how long we will all have to wait.  There is also no guarantee that we will all be in the same situation when the system is finally to a point that they feel we are good enough to adopt these kids.  There is also no guarantee that we will all just wait around either.  We all have kids and families of our own.  We all need to think about that as well and I guess we will all just have to play the waiting game.

This past week has been hell.  Baby J has asked about little man every day.  With as much as I try to explain to her what happened and what is going to happen and why the judge did what he did, she still just does not understand it all and I cant blame her.  Shit, most days I don’t get it either.  I have to put my daughter first no matter what and there is no way in hell I will put her or my family through this all again.  IF they come back to me with all of this I will definitely be handling things differently.  There is no way he will be back in our house unless it is with full adoption papers.  I will not traumatize my family any more.

This whole thing just sucks and I hope and pray – one way or another – that these kids finally move on and have a normal stable life.  Something they have never had in their entire lives!  I pray that they can just be kids someday and have parents who love them and would die for them the way I would for my daughter.  One way or another I pray they get the ending they deserve.  All we can do now is wait and see.

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6 Comments

Posted by on May 30, 2013 in children

 

6 responses to “The Waiting Game

  1. pepibebe

    May 30, 2013 at 8:40 pm

    Oh so very sad. I was thinking how it might have been better if he could have stayed with you until being adopted as the sibling group, but that would have just been so, so hard for all involved.

     
  2. gaybyjourney

    May 30, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    Shit that sucks! How awful for the kids knowing that their father surrendered his rights. I’m adopted and always felt a sense of abandonment and rejection even though I never knew my real parents – my bio father doesn’t even know I exist, but these kids, at this stage in their life must feel so rejected and it sucks that the people that actually love and want them aren’t aloud to give them what they really need – love! Grrr…what a shitty system! My heart goes out to you all.

     
  3. Jaxcarrie

    May 31, 2013 at 8:14 am

    This blows girl – for the kids and the three families. Heart goes out to you all….big hug.

     
  4. KJ and the Kids

    May 31, 2013 at 11:56 am

    Thank you for the update….not the one we wanted to hear of course. 😦
    Those poor kids need to plant their roots soon and even 6 months is too long to wait.
    I’m so sorry for your loss in all of this. For the tug of war. I’m just glad that there are people out there who love them. I hope that they know this.

     
  5. Lindsay Hollett

    May 31, 2013 at 1:02 pm

    How heartbreaking, for everyone involved. I too hope that they find some peace and time to just be kids in a family that loves them – I’m deeply sorry it couldn’t be the ones available to them right now.

     
  6. Joe

    June 7, 2013 at 10:01 pm

    This is a tough spot to be in. It is hell not knowing where they will end up. All we can do is pray for these kids and that the good Lord will bless their future. I have heard people tell me before that God’s blessings are way more bountiful than that person’s suffering. If that is the case, these kid’s are going to be just fine. 😉 The other thing is that we know that these kids are in a safe place where they are fed three meals a day, and that they have some sort of stability in their life. It might not be the stability of a proper family, but at least they are being watched over and taken care of.

    To the families that are interested in taking in/adopting these children, I don’t wish that any of you take on more than you can handle, but don’t give up on these kids. Eventually, they will end up with a family. It may take a while, but they need us to keep fighting for them, whether that means they end up with another family, or whether they end up in your homes. It is a difficult process because of the fact that the state has decided to interfere with what was supposed to be a fairly smooth process. All things happen for a reason!! I was kept at a group home for 4 yrs and I ended up being adopted by my aunt and uncle. This IS my family, and I intend for it to stay that way.

    IF these children do get adopted/taken in as a sibling group, which is unlikely, they will still be a part of this family!! That is a guarantee!!

    With much love and respect to all that have kept up with these updates,

    Joe

     

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