Yesterday in court the kids father signed surrenders. The kids are officially state property now. How very sad. He said he is going to go visit them one last time and then move back up north. I feel so bad for those kids.
What happens next? Well the kids sit. They will be assigned and adoption specialist and they will be put up for adoption as a sibling group. All this means that the three families that want them will not be able to get them. The kids will just sit in the group home and wait to see if anyone else wants all three of them. It doesnt matter that our family wants them. We are not good enough since we cant take all three of them.
How long will they sit? Is there a time limit? How long will they keep them in limbo hoping a perfect, white picket fence family will come along willing to adopt all three kids? No one will tell me that. All I am told is they will go up for adoption. So will it be a month, 6 months, a year, two years – who knows? But hey, these kids have been sitting in the system for almost 3 years already so what is another year or two, right??? What a crock of shit!
The waiting game has begun and there is no guarantee how long we will all have to wait. There is also no guarantee that we will all be in the same situation when the system is finally to a point that they feel we are good enough to adopt these kids. There is also no guarantee that we will all just wait around either. We all have kids and families of our own. We all need to think about that as well and I guess we will all just have to play the waiting game.
This past week has been hell. Baby J has asked about little man every day. With as much as I try to explain to her what happened and what is going to happen and why the judge did what he did, she still just does not understand it all and I cant blame her. Shit, most days I don’t get it either. I have to put my daughter first no matter what and there is no way in hell I will put her or my family through this all again. IF they come back to me with all of this I will definitely be handling things differently. There is no way he will be back in our house unless it is with full adoption papers. I will not traumatize my family any more.
This whole thing just sucks and I hope and pray – one way or another – that these kids finally move on and have a normal stable life. Something they have never had in their entire lives! I pray that they can just be kids someday and have parents who love them and would die for them the way I would for my daughter. One way or another I pray they get the ending they deserve. All we can do now is wait and see.